Sex Ed The Musical

EPISODE 13: HOW TO BE SEXUALLY AUTHENTIC

For some people, being sexually authentic is simple. But, for the remaining 99.99999% of the population, it’s not so easy. On this episode, I speak with my friends Nikki and Daniel (@dirtylovegamesx), a couple I would describe as brave, well boundaried and 100% sexually authentic. Very early on they figured out that their sex life was their business and they really don’t care what anyone else thinks. As a result, they have tons of sex, lots of fun and they never leave pleasure on the table. There’s a lot we can learn from them. Doing this podcast, my own understanding of sex and authenticity seems to be evolving on a daily basis. Chatting with these two was very eye-opening for me. Even if you’re not all that complex or not even remotely interested in opening up your relationship, there are lessons here that can benefit us all. Your life belongs to you and, ya know what, your sex life belongs to you, too. Swinging lifestyle website mentioned by Daniel: SDC. Mobile dating app for singles, couples and everyone: #Open MEMORABLE QUOTES We are publicly on display, out and proud. If they bring it up at work I say, hey if you’d like to talk about this over a beer outside of work, great. But here? No. You don’t get to ask me personal questions I realized at a young age that no one cares as much about you as you do. That’s ultimately what a lot of people are afraid of. Not necessarily being outed, it’s the consequences of not being protected. There are some federal legal protections for discrimination for some things, but being a swinger is not one of them. The only people that we tend to take issue with are those who don’t own themselves privately.    I’m attracted to people, not genitalia, personality, not genitalia. There’s a direct correlation between my mental health and my sex drive. Sex is not the most important thing in your relationship. It’s not what your relationship is based on. We don’t want to play with a couple that isn’t whole and healthy together. If you have any questions about this episode or anything else, please email me at: info@sexedthemusical.com

EPISODE 12: JUST THE TIP -- HOW TO TALK DIRTY

Dirty Talk is a really great way to add some heat to the sheets. After all, you don’t need any fancy equipment, anyone can play, and whispering a well-timed filthy command can send your partner into pleasure overdrive. However, dirty talk definitely requires some courage. You’re really putting yourself out there in a very vulnerable space, and you’re not always sure how someone will react. So like anything new in bed, always make sure there’s full consent and start out slowly. In this episode, I have some tips that will help even the most nervous person raise their voice in bed. Once you get over your fears and master dirty talk, you’ll be able to drive your partner crazy. That’s what I’m talking about.   MEMORABLE QUOTES  “You might be concerned that letting your inner superfreak out, might freak a guy out.” “You want to make sure you use the right name…or at least the name they gave you.” “Don’t think you have to put yourself out there and be a super perv right out of the gate.” “Authority when you’re naked — very, very hot.”    

EPISODE 11: HOW BEING TIED UP, RELEASED ME

The novel Fifty Shades of Grey introduced BDSM to the suburbs. Married, vanilla, PTA moms could not get enough of this kinky fantasy series and, at one point during the height of its popularity, rope sales spiked at hardware stores. You might not ever visit a sex dungeon, but there’s a good chance, at some point, your wrists have been tied to a bedpost…albeit lightly. In this episode, I chat with my good friend Mari, a very successful voice over artist, actress, teacher and a very tough gal. After one particular asshole broke her heart, she met a guy who slowly-yet-firmly led her into the world of BDSM. Her first surprise was how willing she was to follow him. Her second surprise was how much she enjoyed it.   MEMORABLE QUOTES When it felt too rough I would fight back, but he would bury his fingers in my hair and pull just hard enough to let me know he was in charge. I found myself letting go. Giving in. Because, oddly enough, I felt safe. He would lean in and whisper a command in my ear. And when I responded to his liking, I would hear, “Good girl.” What the hell. I’ve tried everything else and it hasn’t worked. So why not this? I feel like Dorothy stepping out of the black and white house into the technicolor of Oz…only in reverse and the munchkins are naked. He kisses me and tells me to undress. As I do, something is put over my head. In the darkness, I feel free. I lie there open and exposed but feel strong and sexy. I get up and I walk naked through the dungeon to the dressing room. I feel like a supermodel. There is ultimate trust. He was not going to hurt me. It’s about your pleasure and also being taken care of. It kind of broke open my idea of what love and a relationship could potentially be. Find out more about Planned Parenthood Sexuality Education here. Anne Lamott gets married at 65. In case you’re not familiar with the OG: Gloria Steinem     Photo by Pixabay.  

EPISODE 10: SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND

Masturbation. Think of it as sex with your best friend. Even though few women openly discuss their personal DIY time, studies show that 90% of us are rubbing one out on the regular. That means 9 out of 10 women are doing something right. Because masturbation is not a deviant act. It’s actually a revolutionary act against the patriarchy, with genuine health, sex and beauty benefits. FACT: You’re more likely to reach orgasms during sex with a partner if you know exactly the kind of touch your body needs to get there. FACT: The more orgasms you have, the more you want. FACT: During menopause, the vagina can narrow, which can make intercourse more painful. But masturbation can help boost blood flow, relieve some tissue and moisture problems, and increase sexual desire. FACT: Masturbating can release the feel-good hormone Oxytocin, which can naturally relieve stress and anxiety. FACT: Masturbation works like Mindful Meditation. Rubbing one out is a great way to help anchor you into the present moment. FACT: Shirley Jones, TV’s beloved Mrs. Partridge, revealed in her tell-all memoir that her secret for staying so youthful and vibrant is — daily, you guessed it, MASTURBATION! I think I love you, Shirley Jones! On this episode, I interview pleasure ninja, Rebecca Friedman, the co-founder (along with Carla Birnberg) of YourBoxBox.com. Your Box Box is a women’s monthly self-care subscription box. Each shipment contains an entire experience to spark self-connection; beginning with scene-setting bath salts / bath bombs / aromatherapy lotions, each box also includes science-based reading materials, adult accessories and pleasure products, and a sweet treat to prolong the afterglow. According to their website: Your Box Box is more than a purveyor of pleasure products; we are a masturbation movement. A group of like-minded individuals who believe orgasms are not a luxury but a right and pleasure is the ultimate self-care. Hell to the yes!!! You’d easily plunk down $200 for some pseudo-science, anti-aging serum you’d find at Walgreens. Turns out, all you need to stay young and vibrant might just be a sex toy and a dream. Here’s a special Sex Ed The Musical listener discount from the folks at Your Box Box. Click, save and enjoy! https://yourboxbox.com/discount/MUSICAL WOMEN, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE JUDGMENT!!! Masturbation is self care of the highest order. Think of it as yoga — but without buying $300 lycra pants, searching for parking and you never have to be next to some rando with a man bun who smells like kombucha. Unless you’re into that. Listen, learn and then rub one out. Your best friend will thank you.

EPISODE 9: THE SEXUALLY ADVENTUROUS WOMAN PT. 2

We first met The Sexually Adventurous Woman in episode 5. She told me how she discovered she was bisexual and then how she learned how to pick up women for threesomes with her husband. Of course, that turned out to be just the beginning for her. Our conversation continues here. She reveals how they decide to add men to then menu. What happens when the two of them take those first terrifying steps into the swinging pool. Also, I’m quite surprised when she reveals the most important thing that attracts her to another couple. Hint: It has absolutely nothing to do with looks. Eventually, she and her husband have their first Full Swap* with another couple on the show Swing — one of the shows I created and supervised, and also one of the most successful TV shows in the history of Playboy TV. I’m very proud of Swing and to this day, I hear from couples whose lives were changed for the better by it. For most of us, it’s nearly impossible to imagine what it would be like to swap partners with another couple. Now imagine doing it while on national TV. You’ll find out exactly how that all went down. Even if you’re not interested in being part of the the swinging lifestyle, you’re probably curious about it. The Sexually Adventurous Woman offers some incredible insight on how excellent communication is key in the lifestyle. How asking for what you want is the only way you’ll get it. And how her husband reacted the first time he saw her giving head to another guy. I'‘ll tell you this much, she stopped hitting the gym. Wait, what???? All of this and so much more on my second talk with The Sexually Adventurous Woman. There’s a lot all of us can learn from her. A lot.   *Full, penetrative intercourse with another couple.

EPISODE 8: SEX WITH GHOSTS -- WITH PARANORMAL KAREN

Paranormal sex has been a subject of fascination for centuries. Countless people have claimed to have had intimate encounters with spirits. BIlly Corgan, Lucy Liu, Ke$ha, Dan Aykroyd, Bobby Brown, and Anna Nicole Smith are just a few of the celebrities who’ve admitted to getting sexy with a specter. Although, in Anna Nicole Smith’s case, her husband was around nearly 100 years old and pale as a sheet. She may just have been confused. In 2014, a woman named Amanda Teague even went so far as to marry a ghost. Sadly, a few years later they got divorced. Since her husband was a ghost, she probably never saw that coming. Thank you. I’ll be here all afterlife. Many skeptics claim ghost sex is merely a manifestation of the unconscious mind. Others swear it’s real and, in some cases, much more fulfilling than sex with mortals. No matter what side of this phenomenon you’re on, ghost sex is both intriguing yet difficult to prove. I am not at all judgmental when it comes to ghost sex. I actually find it incredibly interesting. Plus, who am I to judge any consensual sex between adults? But is all ghost sex consensual? This is where things start to get a little grey. De-mystifying all of this is my guest, Karen Rontowski. Well-known as Paranormal Karen, she’s a highly sought-after tarot card reader who investigates haunted spots and paranormal phenomena all over the world. She’s also host of the very popular podcast Paranormal Karen which goes deep inside such topics as astrology, numerology and UFOs. The Paranormal Karen podcast gets thousands of downloads every single month. Despite Karen’s successful 25 year career as a stand up comic, she takes these subjects very seriously. We begin talking about ghost sex. But Karen’s knowledge of the paranormal is so vast, before you know it we spin off into spirit worlds way beyond my understanding. At 7:37 the conversation turns to what you have to do in order to raise your vibration in order to attract or see ghosts. Then at 8:56 Karen shares her theory that we, as humans, are beginning to have an awakening. At 10:33 the conversation turns to attachments and how, if you’re at a lower vibration you may begin to attract darker energies and elementals. At 12:00 the conversation turns to, is all ghost sex consensual? 13:28 Sleep paralysis vs. ghost sex. 13:45 Karen reveals how to plan your own wet dreams with lucid dreaming. 15:05 Back to how a ghost actually has sex with you. At 17:28 we discover Karen’s ultimate spirit sexual fantasy. At 19:10 Karen explains that as humans continue to become more awakened, our connections to the paranormal become more common. At 20:11 the conversation takes a sharp turn to current political events and how astrologers not only predicted that Trump would be elected but also why and how long the GOP reign of tyranny will last and will there ever be a fall of the patriarchy. 21:27 The new face of politics and the millennials who will will soon be in charge. 23:25 Karen mentions the vision and importance of the book Transurfing by Vadim Zeland. At 25:48 how you should never obsess about money but rather trust the universe that it will come your way. 27:26 I reveal how a shaman helped me realize my life’s true goal and what lessons pursuing it has taught me. 27:57 A reminder of the book Transurfing by Vadim Zeland and why it’s life changing. 29:35 Another left turn, I ask, in this current blatant, misogynistic political climate, how can women find healing and tap into their sexual energy? 30:00 Everyone should be meditating. 30:55 A simple way to release negative energy for good. 31:18 Women need to stop carrying around everyone else’s drama. 32:12 Aaaaaaaaand we’re back to ghost sex. 32:32 The fragments of a personality and how to look at every aspect of your being as a separate being. 37:30 How Netflix and the show Grace & Frankie are putting an end to age discrimination. At 38:18 Karen drops a truth bomb about how women need to get rid of guilt and focus on what they’re truly responsible for. 39:46 What was behind my decision to do things that terrified me. At 40:20 I share the most important advice I could ever give to a guilt-ridden mother. Put the mask on yourself first! 40:46 “Excess Potential” as explained in Transurfing by Vadim Zeland. We never return to ghost sex but we do close with life lessons, a book recommendation (again!) and why every mother should be more selfish. That’s not exactly where I thought we’d end up, but, from start to finish, I approve this message.

EPISODE 7: JUST THE TIP -- THE SEX TOY MISTAKE YOU NEVER WANT TO MAKE

Back in the day before everything imaginable was just a click away, if you wanted to buy a sex toy, AKA a Marital Aid, you’d have to venture into the back room of a super sketchy adult bookstore. Or, you could purchase one through mail order and hope it arrived (weeks later) in a plain brown wrapper. Today, sex toys are so normalized you can pick up butt plugs, ball gags and a strap-on at your local Walmart! That’s right, in one shopping trip you can get Tide PODS, Honey Nut Cheerios and Deluxe Adjustable Nipple Clamps! Save Money. Live Better. Get Off. I’m a big fan of sex toys. My office at Playboy TV was overrun with them. Dozens of manufacturers wanted them featured on my shows so I received vibrators and lube by the caseload. Surgical steel g-spot massagers, rose quartz dildos and gift bags of remote-controlled vibrating underpants covered my office floor. If I ever gave you a pleasure product between the years 2010-2017, you can be certain I didn’t pay for it. One afternoon, about 10 huge pieces of Liberator sex furniture arrived at my house. We weren’t home at the time of delivery, so all of the unboxed sex furniture sat on our front porch for hours. Once my husband discovered the sex furniture on display all over our front porch, he immediately dragged it into the house and then yelled at me over the phone. Whatevs. I gave most of the sex furniture away. Not all of it…but some of it. My office at Playboy TV was known as the place where you could find just about any sex toy imaginable, and I was more than happy to share with my friends a coworkers. The head of HR once trudged into my office absolutely overwhelmed with stress. So I threw an Hitachi Magic Wand and some lube into brown paper bag and sent her back to HR. I’m tellin’ ya, the next day she had a little spring in her step. Solving life’s problems, one orgasm at a time™. I’m a big proponent of sex toys and I frequently encourage women and couples to experiment with them. They’re fun, efficient and also a great way ensure a woman has an orgasm. Penetrative sex isn’t the best way to get a woman off and, for various reasons, other direct pathways to a woman’s pleasure can become roads less traveled. Hey…you do you. Or better yet, have a sex toy do you! Nothing against the “analog” way to rub one out, but the right sex toy can be a great tool to get the job done. There’s a reason we called the Hitachi Magic Wand “The Closer” at Playboy TV. HOW-EVVV-ERRR… Before you head out to your favorite big box store for a battery operated bestie, I have a very serious warning about sex toys that you must heed. Please, do everybody in your bed a big favor. Before you introduce a new sex toy, listen to this episode. Trust me on this one.  

EPISODE 6: MY HAPPY ENDING MASSAGE

I'm away from home on a long business trip. In Las Vegas. And I book a massage. For 12:45 am. In my hotel room. What could possibly be sketchy about that?   Then...   @22:00 don't miss a brand-new Screw Confession where a highly ambitious woman absolutely loses it when things get a little too deep.   NOTES @9:37 this is the first of several cameos you can expect from my dear Canadian friend: Sex and Relationship Expert Dr. Jessica O'Reilly. According to Yelp, the Bad Attitude Boutique on East Sahara Avenue is closed permanently. Also, the floor was not vinyl tile but instead an inexpensive wood laminate.  

EPISODE 5: THE SEXUALLY ADVENTUROUS WOMAN PT. 1

We all know her. The woman who’s totally brave, adventurous, sexy as hell and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. THAT is the Sexually Adventurous Woman. On this episode, I interview a very beautiful, brave and unapologetic Sexually Adventurous Woman. Like so many of us, she was raised with almost no sex education and the idea of her pleasure was never discussed. However, that all changed thanks to late night cable TV. In this first of a 3-part series, we follow the Sexually Adventurous Woman’s evolution from a sheltered small-town girl, to a married woman who figured out exactly what she wanted in bed and then went after it with zero apologies whatsoever. Even if you’re not interested in living a adventurous lifestyle, there’s all sorts of takeaway here for everyone here about how to figure out exactly what you want in your sex life and then the exact steps you can take to get it. Plus, find out how your Crock Pot plays an important role in any sex party! What?!?!? Yep, it’s all there. And then, stick around for an all-new Screw Confession submitted by a listener. This story is so wrong, it’s incredibly right. Enjoy the show!

EPISODE 4: JUST THE TIP -- HOW TO HAVE A THREESOME (WITHOUT HAVING ANYONE ELSE IN YOUR BED)

It’s the #1 Sexual Fantasy for couples - a THREESOME. So many couples fantasize about having a third join them in bed but… HOW DO YOUR FIND THAT PERSON? HOW DO YOU AGREE TO THAT PERSON?? HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH POTENTIAL JEALOUSY ISSUES??? These are all common questions and there’s a lot to consider before you both decide to get naked in front of someone else. In our first JUST THE TIP, I reveal, step-by-step, the easiest and safest way for you and your partner to have a threesome. The best part is, you get to have sex with anyone you want!!!! Don’t believe me? Just listen.   EPISODE NOTES The role of my long-suffering husband was played by…my actual long-suffering husband. Christina Hendricks could have been played by Christina Hendricks. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.